Identity Crisis

Hey there my Lovelies! 

This week on the HomeBase Podcast I talked about losing your identity once you become a parent. It’s a serious struggle I think we all deal with to some degree, and maybe you haven’t had this struggle becoming a parent but I bet it’s safe to say you have or will go through this at some point in your life. For me I have these moments when I look in the mirror and I see this disheveled exhausted person starring back at me and I have no idea who she is and how she got into my bathroom. Or sometimes when I am trying to put together an outfit to go out with my Husband on the very rare date night, I just stand there looking at my clothes hung in my closet that don’t fit or may be “too revealing” for a “new mother” and I wonder “Who am I?” “Is this still my style?” “Will I ever be able to wear that sexy flirty dress again?!”

It’s these moments that make us think that we might be losing ourselves to parenthood. But I encourage you all to STOP! Think of all the things in your life that you LOVE: your spouse, your children, family, friends, pets! Think of those beautiful memories that you have with these people. These are the people and the moments that define WHO YOU ARE. It doesn’t matter what your hair looks like, or if your clothes are perfect. So what if you don’t have time to read anymore or go for a run 5 days a week. And yeah you had to skip out on the girls night cause your kid was teething, and you haven’t been to a movie in 9 months. SO WHAT! Does that movie night define you? Do those super skinny jeans make you a better person? NO WAY! 

You are what you Love and what you Love is your family! You’re identity isn’t centered around tangible things, it’s centered around the people that “make your soul blossom.” (Thank you Marcel Proust/ his quote above) Stay strong and realize that you Love all these people and they all Love you because you’re beautiful and you make their lives grander! 

You’re not losing your identity. Your identity just grew to include more people and that’s making you feel stretched a little thin. But at the end of the day you wouldn’t trade any of those people for a glass of wine and a good book…………at least I hope not. šŸ˜œ
For more on this subject listen to this weeks Podcast episode: Losing Your Identity

Growing Up KaterTot
Lovely Things
Domestic Momster

13 thoughts on “Identity Crisis

  1. Wow! This is so powerful! You’re completely right- your identity blossoms and changes when you become a mom. You’re still you, just with added pieces that link to create a newer rendition of you! (If that makes sense…lol!) I wholeheartedly agree that the special people in our lives rather than the tangible make us who we are. Beautiful quote! Thank you so much for linking up with #candidcuddles!

  2. Becky, Cuddle Fairy says:

    I think it’s wonderful to focus on the good & be grateful for what we have & the people who are important to us. Thanks so much for linking up with #candidcuddles x

  3. It is really true after the birth of both of my babies I went through this. I think it comes back though as you say you just have to redefine who you are now that you have babies. Thanks for sharing #lovelythings

  4. nmiller00 says:

    So very true. You tend to lose yourself in your kids and devote everything you have to them. That is one reason why I started Cuppageek, my blog. I was able to give myself something back and I have loved having something that is mine. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and give them all I have. But I want to be more than a mom and a soon to be wife. I want to be my own person.

  5. Charlotte @ Our Daly Life says:

    I know I struggled for a while, certainly didn’t feel like I was just me as a person anymore. Probably took me about 18 months or so after having each of my children to re-discover myself. And certainly, the person I re-discovered wasn’t the same as the person I once was – but the new person you discover is someone to embrace, just think it takes a little time to learn and understand that. #momsterslink

  6. You are so right it is easy to loose ourselves in all the seeing to other peoples needs. However from that can come so much growth and abilities to be more of who we want to be. I love your post. Realising what we give and what we are helping create is so important in those moments. Thank you for sharing. I will put this on my FB page The Guilt Free Guide To Motherhood.

  7. I often stare in the mirror and wonder what happened to the super slick professional girl that sure to stare back – if I can manage to scrape my hair back and get out of the house not covered in cream and food then I am grateful! Wouldn’t change it for the world though… xx #busydoinglife

  8. katieg1017 says:

    I agree…I struggle with this concept all the time (losing personal identity after parenthood, etc.)–it’s actually the entire premise of my blog! I like that you mention to remember what we have…our homes, families, etc. It’s true. Those things ARE our identities. There’s so much focus on the individual in our culture, but the people we love, in turn, are the best representations of who we are. Great blog!

    • Thanks Katieg1017! I love that this post has really touched so many mommies šŸ˜Š I think it’s great to know that we are all struggling similar battles and that we can reach out to each other to hold strong to what’s true and what MATTERS! šŸ’•

  9. It’s so true the things that change when we become parents. But it should be viewed as good change. I know that for me, having kids, finally gave me a sense of purpose. Before them I was just floating through life one pointless day at a time. Thank you for sharing this insight with #momsterslink. Hope to see you again this week!

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